the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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