All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
