let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
