So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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