I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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