we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
