Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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