"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
