It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
