Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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