I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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