I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
