He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
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I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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