He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
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Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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