sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Non-Jews are for practice
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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