you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
