i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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