do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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