oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize