please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
