Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
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Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
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Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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