they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The Olympian is in my bed
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
