when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You're a waste of cheezeits
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
