quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize