After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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