True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
