I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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