she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
