Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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