either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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