Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
