Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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