there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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