At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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