Im at strip club and am horny
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
