i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
