It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
