he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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