erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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