We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
