the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
