Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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