Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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