Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
