I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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