one two three fourrrrnication!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
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