I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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