I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
