Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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