ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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