wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
