Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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