we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
