pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
