I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
