I just saw a hot homeless man
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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