if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
