So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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