I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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