isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
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The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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