i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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