yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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