i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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