My friends, they love my intelligence
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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