didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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