the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
